Oklahoma Girl

We Need A New Maid

Today, Taste-Tester’s family is homeward bound from their vacation. This means at some point they will be by the house to pick up their dog, Riley. And this means I need to get my butt in gear, pry these hands off the keyboard, and get this house in tip-top shape. Had I known that the entire family was going to be in my living room dropping Riley off, I wouldn’t have left the house in such disarray the first time.

I meant to clean…honest…its just that…well, I get distracted. I start to refurbish a chair and while I wait for it to dry, I focus my energy on sewing a new dress, and then while I’m waiting for my fabric to come out of the wash, I start to cook, and while i’m waiting for bread to come out of the oven I start to do the dishes…and then the bread is done so I stop with the dishes and start in on some completely unrelated project!! Its madness…madness I tell you!!

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This is my baby, Dax. He’s is so intrigued by my madness that he trails behind me with every move I make. All the meanwhile he’s thinking “Gosh, my mom is weird”.

Anyhoo…here’s my chance to redeem myself. My house might have looked like it was robbed when Riley was dropped off…but by gosh if it won’t be spotless when he gets picked up!! And through this cleaning experience I have learned a couple things about myself:

1) I have too many shoes. My feet haven’t grown since the 7th grade. I have accumulated shoes for years and I can’t bring myself to get rid of them. Also, I find I can’t bring myself to put them away as soon as I kick them off either.

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This just happens to be the mountain of shoes congregating in our hallway. I know I’m messy…please forgive me!

2)  I really need a dishwasher. I feel this is the source of all problems in life. It goes like this…You want to make a fabulous dinner, Lauren? Too bad, no dishwasher. You want to have the girls over for girls night, Lauren? Too bad, no dishwasher. You want to reach the faucet for water to make coffee, Lauren? Too bad, no dishwasher. The agony of hand-washing means Taste-Tester and I pretend they don’t exist until there are no clean utensils to eat with.

3) It may be time to invest in a second bookshelf. Apparently when your in nursing school you need multiple books. I guess they want you to know a little something about what your doing in the hospital. By the way…is this a bad time to ask if I can practice starting IVs on you?

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4) I have bobby pins aplenty! I thought they had all disappeared into oblivion. Little did I know those little suckers  can camouflage themselves in a multitude of places. For example: the wood floor of the bathroom, the brown wicker coffee table, kitchen counters, TV stands, and bookshelves. As my readers i’m assigning you with the responsibility of reminding me not to remove bobby pins from my head and stick them just anywhere. I hope you all still love me despite my flaws.

5) I am inadequately sized. I am too short to reach anything besides the bottom shelf. Pray I don’t break a leg by climbing on my counters to put things away.

Soooo after my joyous cleaning experience…I’ve concluded that my house is tiny, our belongings are cramped, there is no dishwasher, I’m short, golden oldies is the best music for cleaning, I have a shoe fetish, and my bookshelves will most surely crack under the pressure of my nursing books. But i’m loving every single second of my crazy, chaotic world. Tell me I’m not the only happy haphazard one out there!

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