Oklahomans, man. No one is as particular about their vegetables as we are. In one word? Finicky. I like that word…finicky. Oklahomans are finicky. We have two requirements for our vegetables. 1) Must be battered. 2) And then deep-fried. Now this is not a problem for most people…except for the unfortunate fact that I am not most people. After a stint in Nutrition class I have been rendered a hapless, health junkie. Yup, I traded in the mars bars for celery, peanut butter, and sweat bands (just kidding about the sweat bands). So how does one go about spreading her vast nutrition knowledge to others?? By hiding pure, unadulterated vegetables in the most obvious of places…PIZZA!
Now now…I know your thinking i’m insane. That this girl has dove head first off the deep end and into loony-health-nut world. I promise I’m not far off my rocker. But a nurse giving people heart-attack-inducing recipes is probably the biggest contradiction known to man kind. So you see…i’m obligated to have healthy recipes…it’s my duty!
So how else does one start a cauliflower pizza crust? With cauliflower of course!
Look at it. Just look at it. Like little white clouds of…well…cauliflower. Okay yeah so its cauliflower. I can’t eat it straight but when it’s hidden in things…man, do I love me some cauliflower.
So for the next part, It is probably in everyone’s best interest if you invest in noise-canceling headphones. I’m just putting it out there. I mean…if my dog hiding under my bed isn’t evidence enough…well, I don’t know. He does scare easily though. Dax detests the hairdryer and toilet flushes.
So if you have a normal dog (unlike mine) go ahead and break out that food processor! Process until your hearts content…or when you run out of cauliflower. Whichever comes first. But just know…your future-self will thank your past-self when past self grinds everything up and stores leftovers in the freezer for when future-self wants a pizza. Make sense? haha I hope you guys can follow my babble.
This is what your vegetables have been reduced to once they have been ground and then boiled….like more white clouds. Just drain them off into a tea towel set in a colander. Easy right?? I’m glad you think so…because now comes the hands-on business. Literally…hands on! Wrap up the cauliflower in the towel and squeeze and twist with all your might (no not your abs…the towel silly!) You want all that excess water out of there!
Now because we love whisking so darn much…as you can tell from previous posts. we whisk yet again!! This time we whisk together the other components of our dough. Cheese, spices, and an egg!
Add in the cauliflower to the whisked mixture and I’ll be honest…avoid the whisk. I know we just professed our love for the kitchen utensil…but trust me. I repeat…Do.Not.Whisk! Now hold up your hands…look at those lovely metacarpals of yours. Admire their whisk-like qualities. And now…use them to thoroughly combine the dough!
Place the dough on parchment paper on a cookie sheet or pizza pan.
Now you see that rolling pin on the counter? Yeah, don’t even think about it. the dough spreads easily with your hands and come on…who wants to wash more dishes? Sprinkle on a little sea salt and pepper. Bake your “topless” pizza dough until it firms and turns golden!
I’m sure by now your pizza is just fed up with being topless. So let’s dress it! Spicy chicken sausage, spinach, cheese, mushrooms, onions, the kitchen sink. Well you get the idea! Bake it just until the cheese melts and then watch your Taste-Tester exclaim, “this one’s a keeper!” Its kind of like Willy Wonka you see…except for golden eggs we have recipes of gold and our eggdometer is my boyfriend! I just don’t go around wearing a fancy purple top hat!
Cauliflower Pizza Crust
4 cups ground cauliflower florets (As much stem removed as possible. 2 heads of Cauliflower make 5 1/2 cups
- 1 egg
- 1 teaspoon Oregano
- 1/3 cup Mascrapone or Goat cheese
- 1/2 cup pizza sauce
- Suggested Pizza toppings: Chicken Sausage, Spinach, Mushrooms, Feta cheese, etc.
- Salt and Pepper to taste
Optional: Italian seasoning, Basil, Parsley
- Place fresh florets of cauliflower in food processor and grind until you have 4 cups of ground cauliflower
- Boil in a large pot. Covered. For approx 4-5 minutes until cauliflower has become soft. Transfer to a colander lined with a tea towel. Drain excess water. Wrap up in tea towel and squeeze any remaining water out of cauliflower.
- Whisk together cheese, spices, egg, and if desired salt and pepper.
- Combine cheese mixture with drained cauliflower in a bowl. MIx with your hands until dough forms.
- Spread dough out on a cookie sheet or pizza pan lined with parchment paper.
- Bake at 400 degrees until golden and firm. Approximately 35-40 minutes.
- Take crust out of oven and top with sauce, cheese, and desired toppings.
- Place back in oven and cook 10 minutes longer when cheese begins to melt. Serve immediately and enjoy!